January 18, 2007

Wow. Another year is already gone by since I've written on here.

I'm in the process of kicking my sister out. She is a threat to me, Chris, and to our relationship. I hope her staying here while she did helped her out some, but there is nothing more I can do for her. She is in her own downward spiral, and I am not going to fall in with her. She could have stayed here as long as she needed, if she could just chill out and not be aggressive or violent.

Work is good. Stressful, but good. Working at home is great. It doesn't help the stress level, but you have to compromise.

We've been having game night with friends, and it is a blast. We need to mix up the games a bit... but right now Taboo is my favorite. Need to break out the old school pictionary. Or the Star Wars Monopoly board that I have.

Good feeling

This week has been loaded with stress, but I feel great. I'm very worried about finding a venue location, but one will pop up, eventually. I have plans to look at three places on Friday.

I've had two people email me some very nice things... derby girls who love me... mushy nice stuff. And Chris even commented on the fact that even though I'm stressed right now, I'm handling it well, and not taking it out on him. So... today is good feelings day.

I sent my mom some money. She was transferred from the prison in Huntsville that she's been in for 2 years and is now in Gregg county, waiting for bail. She was convicted of a crime, but the supreme court of Texas revoked it, and now she is either going to be given a new trial, or the other lawyer can decide to drop the charges completely. She's been in prison for 2 years for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. She excited about getting out. I'm nervous for her. It's not going to be easy, that's for sure.

My sister lost her job. Right at the same time that I got a really great job offer. I'm quitting my job tomorrow, and starting at my new place next week. How come I can't just enjoy something, without feeling guilty. Oh well. I am very excited anyway. More pay, more respect, more responsibility (I would be the first in the department, and eventually head of the department). They want to send me to Florida and Cali for training. That would be cool. The work is right down my ally. I'm an expert at Blue Sky, and they know it. They hunted me down to help them grow.

On Sunday, our first practice after the holidays, they freaking worked us hard! My legs still hurt today. But... I can't wait for practice... I'm all riled up... ready to work on blocking. I hope we scrimmage tonight. And I hope we don't do 100 laps like on Sunday!

I found a new day planner... it's sweet. It better help me stay organized and shit. I have a million things to do this Friday, for instance. I shouldn't forget any of them, because they are all written down.

New Years Eve 2006

This weekend was great. Friday Catherine and I took a long lunch... ate at Chachos (I love that place!) and picked up Chris' fisheye lens from the post office. When I got off I went shopping. I have dropped a few sizes since joining the derby, and all of my office clothes are way too big. So, I went to Buffalo Exchange and Taxi and all the other resale shops in that area. I bought a pair of jeans, two pairs of pants (one plaid pair that I'm wearing right now- fit like a glove!), one green cardigan (I'd been wanting one), and one eighties sweater that I am in love with. It's hot. At least I think so :)

Chris was really surprised and happy with the lens. We played with it for a bit, then drove out to the shop and carried a load of stuff to his parents house. Then went home and watched The 40 Year Old Virgin. It was hilarious. I recommend it highly.

I woke up early on Saturday full of energy. We went by the new Home Depot on Westheimer at Dunvale and I rented a carpet cleaner. I shampood my carpet, and cleaned practically all day. I also went grocery shopping... I think it took about 2 hours, and cost about $250. I had not been shopping in ages... I needed everything from toilet paper to grape jelly. Then I went home and took a nap. I love naps... but this time I really needed it. I'm expected to stay up late on New Years night, and I am notorious for falling asleep early! And after all the cleaning and carpet shampooing my back hurt. The nap helped. We went to my friend Ben's for his party. I brought lots of champagne. We had fun- lots of friends... mostly derby friends, but those are the good kind. We got home really late... I don't remember how much champagne I drank, but I do remember eating the best bowl of Velvetta Shells and Cheese when we got home.

Sunday we slept in, and ordered really gross spinach alfredo pizza from Papa John's. We drove out to the Alamo to watch King Kong, but it was showing two hours later, so we watched Syriana. It was very serious, and complicated, and made me feel guilty for being an american, and working in the oil & gas industry. A good movie, but not lighthearted at all. By the time it was over, and we were going to try and see King Kong, it was full... no seats. So, of course, we went by an adult novelty store and bought new toys :)

Chris went to work on Monday, and I slept in. Not as late as on Sunday, but almost. I got up and back to cleaning. I made the mistake of going shopping, again... but only returned some shoes that didn't fit to some that really fit and are very cute office shoes. And shampoo and conditioner... when I run out of stuff I do it all at the same time.

I cooked last night- and plan on cooking tonight. I do not want to waste all those groceries I just bought, and I want to try and save money this year... so I will be looking up recipes and staying in my kitchen as much as I can. Thank goodness I like to cook... and that Chris likes my cooking. That is a blessing.

I feel the new year a comin

Chris' fisheye lens came in the mail, but it's at the post office. I'm going at lunch today to pick it up. I'm excited. He was very super broke for christmas, so he only got me a couple little things, and let me know he was making me something for christmas... and by making he means like carpentry making something. That, to me, is awesome. I remember that my highschool boyfriend made me a jewelry box, and I still have it. I can't wait to see what Chris makes me, and I'm not upset at all about him not having something on the day of. Hehe... we went to his mom's for christmas day, and she acted like I was one of her kids... she got me at least twelve different things! One of them was a towl for your hair, that's made to curl up at the top and not be heavy- really cool gift. And another was a little magnifying glass that is 10X, and omg, i can see every single pore on my face, and man I need a facial! She also gave me a book on home remedys that the doctors don't want you to know about. Three flavors of syrup (I bet she doesn't know what I will be using those for). And a small bottle of perfume (that I actually liked... that was really cool).

I can't wait for derby practices to start again. I need to get more instruction on how to get better though... because I go to practically every practice, do every exercise, cross train outside of practices, and yet I'm not getting better. I need more direction as to what I am either doing wrong, or need to do more of... cause it sucks to work so hard and not be getting better. It's not that I suck, because I do know that I am good (I'd give myself at least a 6 out of 10)... but I need to focus on my endurance (which I'm doing with Chris when we walk/sprint), and on getting stronger. I want to learn more about lifting some weights, and drink more smoothies with protein in them so I can gain muscle, so I can push those chicks outta my way. Yep. Forget all the drama and trouble that derby has, what I want is to skate, and derby like a bad ass.

I looked up the degree plan for a structural engineer at U of H, and I have only taken 4 classes that go towards it. I have soooo much more school to do... so next semester I am taking Calculus 1 and Gov't 2. Gov't is online, and the Calc is at the schools every Saturday!! Hahaha... I'm just asking for it, I know, but at least I won't be sleeping all day saturday!!

I took back the car that I had given my brother for his birthday (a Nissan Altima that he doesn't need because he has a truck, and my family was just going to sell it and keep the money- they didn't tell me any of that, and it's not cool) and gave it to my sister Rose, who is 26 with 2 kids. She had a Honda Accord (2 door stick) that we traded. Chris helped me sell the Honda, and I completely broke even. So far it's a happy ending, except that my family is probaby mad at me, because they don't ever want to see my sister Rose get anything, and they probably are mad they don't get the money from selling the Nissan. Oh well. I did the right thing, and they will have to get over it.

Last night Chris and I talked... for a long time. One of those meaningful talks, long talks, hard talks. I realized that I am such an ass. You know how some guys will say wonderful things but not ever show them... he's the exact opposit. He does wonderful things every single day, and just doesn't verbalize them. Well, from now on I will value everything he does, and feel special, and thankful, and just accept that he genuinely likes me... and this is what happens when someone really likes you... and I'm just not used to it. But now I see that he's been cooking for me every day, and I am healthy and full because of him. Heart <3 I feel all mushy now :)

Melissa

Christmas

Christmas was good. We went to Jurate's for Christmas eve. Sana and Fatza were there, and Oswaldo came too. We ate my fake meat lasagna, and herring fish dish, and eggplant salad. It was all delicious. We exchanged white elephant gifts. Then we went to Lauren's, but we pretty much missed the party and were there only about an hour.

We went to Chris' mom's for Christmas day. She had cooked, and I brought another lasagna too. She had got me about a dozen gifts. It was so sweet. I felt like a kid. We got her Direct TV, and so far she loves it. I still can't believe she's never had cable or anything. And I gave her my copy of Gone With the Wind. I hope she likes it.

I gave Chris a cool drawing of fish with big eyes swimming in water, with cameras falling around them. It took him a minute, but he guessed it- a fisheye camera lens. I had to draw the picture because it didn't make it to the house in time. Should be here in the next few days though. Oh- and the best part. He was like, "Now I just have to go get my camera fixed". I told him, "Well, let's just check and make sure Santa didn't fix it already." Hehe... I had taken it a few weeks ago to a camera shop and they fixed the threads in the front of the camera so that he can now screw on filters or lenses all day long. It was really cool, because he was really surprised and excited.

I looked for classes online today. My current gpa is 3.5. Not bad. I want to keep it up, and if I can, get it higher. I searched for the classes I wanted, wrote down the teachers names, then checked them on RateMyProfessor.com. I have never used that site before, and I hope I chose good teachers! I wasn't surprised to see the lady I had for my Government class last semester had a very low score on there. I completely agreed with all the negative comments, and left one of my own.

I have one book from last semester that the bookstore won't buy back, so I'm going to try and buy it online. I'm also going to search for the books I need this semester and try to buy them online cheaper than at the bookstore.

I've already made a new year's resolution. Not to go overdraft in the bank at all this year. I practically live paycheck to paycheck... but I make plenty of money, and have very few bills. I also want to save some money in my savings account, but really, if I don't go overdraft, then I'll be saving a lot right there. I wrote everything up in Excel, and when I get home I'll dust off the old Microsoft Money program I have and upload my checking account into it. I need to learn how to budget, and leave my bank card at home. I'm going to start giving myself a strict limit of cash to spend every week. I'm not looking forward to it, but I am looking forward to seeing the results. I'm crossing my fingers.

Last night I set the alarm on my cell phone, and put it in the bathroom. It went off really loud, and echoed in the bathroom until I got up and turned it off. I made myself stay awake and not lay back down. I got to work before 7:30. That was cool. Not as hard as I thought it would be. But now I need to make it a habit.

I sent my resume out to a couple of places this week. I like where I am working, but I'm contract, and I do not want to stay contract forever, and places will be hiring in January.

We're taking a holiday break from derby. Chris and I have been trying to walk a lot (almost 3 hours in the past two days). And tonight I'm going to meet some of the girls at Memorial park to do land drills and skate laps. I'm not looking forward to it. Every other day now I think about quitting. I have a full time job, am taking college classes, have two dogs to take care of, a boy friend that I like to spend time with, and a million hobbies and other interests that I barely ever get to spend time on. I want to at least get through this first season though. Skating the games is what we are all in it for... seven games over a few months. Then, I think I will retire. I'll make sure Chris takes lots and lots of pictures so I can remember what it was like :)

I took this stupid diagnostic medical test online (yeah, I know... how accurate can it be?). It said I might have two different conditions that are causing my sleep issues... or better yet, my I can't wake up issues. I do snore... a lot. It said my symptoms pointed to sleep apnea. I've already know that I probably have some form of sleep apnea, so that wasn't a surprise. But then it said I have some condition where I pee a lot. Well, I've always known that I pee a lot. I hate it. I go at least twenty times a day at work. I'm not even exagerrating. Then it went on to say that me waking up four to five times a night to go pee was causing sleep fragmentation (frequent arousal). I am not allowing myself to sleep throughout the entire night because I keep getting up to go pee. How freakin stupid is that?! So. From now on, I will not be drinking anything after about 9:30. I tried it the past four days, and it worked. I made sure to go pee about three times before finally laying down, and I didn't get up again until morning. I had to go really bad when I got up, but that was tolerable. I also had dreams each night of me peeing. Ha. I must really have to go that I'm dreaming about it. I'm going to try and research and see if there is a natural supplement that will help with this issue.

I wonder what we are doing for New Years Eve.

How 'bout not Schmidt?

We watched About Schmidt last night. I have completely forgotten what I liked about the movie. It was not nearly as good as I had remembered. It was simple, and complex at the same time. That I like. But it was also about an old man, a company man... much like a lot of the men I happen to work with. That's depressing.

We didn't have time to walk last night... but I did get to cook :) I made spaghetti, with spaghetti squash instead of spaghetti noodles. And with fake chicken. It was delicious. I will be making it again.

I'm still thinking about school. Not enough to actually get online and check out the schedule for next semester... but enough to think about getting online. Eh. Still don't know if I want to try online again or not. Turns out I made B's in both classes. My first B's. I don't like that one bit. I might have to sacrifice two nights a week so I can guarantee myself those A's I like.

Went to lunch today with coworkers Catherine and Hans. Good food, good conversation. I'm stuffed now.

I posted the Production Committees Update. Lots of stuff to do in the next three months, but nothing terribly hot on the burner. I want us to get ahead so that Feb won't be too stressful. Still having a hard time finding the perfect venue.

I got Chris' christmas present off of ebay yesterday. I contacted the seller and let them know I will be paying early on Thursday morn. I won't be able to get it in hand before christmas, so I'm going to make something creative for Chris to open, that will tell him what I got him. Should be fun.

We're going to be going to my best friends for Christmas Eve dinner, then to Chris' best friends for Christmas Day dinner. I talked to my sister and let her know we're not coming. She was a little dissappointed, but really she's just depressed. And us coming to visit won't help her with that. She's got to find a way out of it, without depending on the group of friends she has, that aren't real friends at all. I will miss my niece and nephew, but I'm planning on going up there in a few weeks anyway.

That's all so far. Work is the same. The man I work with whose office is seven floors up is still a jerk. I wish I knew how to kiss ass, and then maybe he would lay off a bit, and be decent.

Knitta Please

Knitta Please

So, Chris says he's seen these vandals handiwork in action. I say, That's Crazy! My sister knits. I can't wait to tell her about this. She is going to knit me a scarf, or a blanket. I'm going to send her a lot of yarn so she can get started.

Chris and I both had Friday off of work, but we're both broke, so we didn't do much. We've been walking to places, instead of driving, when we can. It's a breath of fresh air :) even if it is cold air. It is helping build my endurance, when we walk for a long time. I appreciate that a lot.

I got back one of my grades. An 86 in Government. I'm okay with that. It's the first non-A, and it's my fault. I didn't study enough, or participate enough. I might have enough self dicipline for derby, and for normal classes, but not enough for online classes. I literally waited until the week of finals, and then opened my books for the first time since midterms. I want- need- desire- to take more classes... but classes where I actually sit at a desk, with a teacher, might be better for a higher grade. And then I worry about the time constraint. Always driving to and from class, there will be more homework and more assignments in a normal class than there was online. I'm not sure yet... I may just have to look and see what is available. I'm not giving up. I'm not going to stop going to school, again, that's for sure. I just need to see if I want online again, with more dicipline or if I want to try a normal Tue-Thurs class.

We walked to Jurate's a few times over the weekend. I love her. She's great. She did get Chris to move about twelve pieces of furniture while we were there. He doesn't seem to mind... especially after she feeds him. One thing I have to say about Jurate... she can cook. You've never eaten or heard of what she cooks... but it's basic meat and potatoes, Lithuanian style, and it's good :) I'm learning from her, one recipe at a time.

We had a late derby practice last night. We got two new girls on the Bosses team... both are really good skaters, and seem like really cool girls. I had to leave early to go home and get to sleep. I can't afford to be late to work, and practice was supposed to run until 10:30. They also announced this morning on our Yahoo board who is on the travel team. I didn't make it, but I'm not too upset. I would have been very proud to represent the league, but I know I'm not ready. I can be fast, and I'm pretty stable, I don't fall down often, but I don't have great endurance, and I haven't got the knack of knocking people out of my way yet. I want to work on more blocking and checking drills... because once I start getting the blockers out of my way, then I can make points, no problem. The 15 girls that were picked are really good. They definitely deserve to go, and will give the other teams a run for their money. This is the National competition in Tuscon, AZ, and will have a lot of leagues competing. It should be awesome.

We watched What the Bleep do We Know? It was okay. Makes me think very differently about water. Hehe... and yes, we do have an unlimited number of possibilities. We can be anything we want, do anything we want, and we are the only ones to stop us. And we do stop ourselves all the time. The part about addictions was very strange to me. Makes me wonder... what am I addicted to? What can I do to stop it? It doesn't help that I have a fear of addictions. Not a huge one, but enough to make me not indulge in drinking or drugs.

I keep forgetting how this journal thing is supposed to work. I'm supposed to write down what has happened today, or the past few days. Well. We went walking. We watched movies (I found that I really loved Shaun of the Dead, who'd a thunk?). Did some laundry. Hung out with friends. Slept in. Talked. Good stuff.

And today. I got to work on time. Got a few people some drawings. Had a talk with my boss. Good stuff. They are still interested in hiring me on full time, as long as I am consistant on getting here on time. I am working on a complicated project right now... makes me glad to be using my mind instead of just printing maps all day.

Not really much to write about. I feel good. Happy. Even though my biorythms show that everything is headed down hill again... I'm not going down without a fight *puts fists in air*.

Tonight I want to cook. Walk. Watch About Schmidt. Draw.

That's it for Monday. Christmas is coming.

My Nephew... The lead in his school play

Kilgore News Herald, font page

Derion, my nephew, got to play Elfis, the lead role, in his school play. His picture also ended up on the front page of my home town's local paper... Big news in a small town.

"‘Elfis’ entered the building last night at Kilgore Heights Elementary School when the kindergarten classes of teachers Brown, Gee, Holley and Rogers put on their Christmas show for family and friends. Patrick Jackson, above, does a saxophone solo backed up by elfs and reindeer. Elfis (Derion Thurmond, at right) hears from an elf on whether Elfis is a real elf or just an elf impersonator. "


He is 6, and absolutely adorable and lovable and the best little kid in the world!!

Here he is, posing with his baby sister. He's the best big brother, and he knows it!!

If you are planning on not having kids, ever... then I do not recommend meeting my nephew, or kids like him. He would make you change your mind in a heartbeat.

Burning corndogs

A few weeks ago I felt so miserable. Down. For no reason. Everything was just the same as it's always been. Well, now I feel great. But again, for no real reason. Nothing's changed.

On Monday night Chris and I went walking. I had been feeling so insecure about our relationship (not based on anything but a weird feeling), and it was starting to go away. I had a pretty good day at work and drove down the street to his house and we strolled for an hour and a half. He knew the way, so I focused on not tripping myself on the cracked parts of the sidewalk.

We walked, and talked, and it was one of the nicest nights I've had in a long time. Then I went home, and set a corndog on fire in the microwave. I did not let the fake meat charcoal get me down. Not at all. And in the morning, when I found that my car had been desecrated by dozens of birds, I merely laughed it off. Even when some jerk off rear ended me, don't worry, it was just a slight bump, I didn't even get out of the car to yell at him. Work was splendid, and Tuesday night we went walking again. Even longer this time, and by even more beautiful houses than the night before.

What's my point? Well... even though I do periodically check my horoscope, I don't necessarily believe in that kind of stuff. But, recently, Chris turned me on to Biorhythms. I pulled up what my biorhythms were for December 1 (definitely a day that kicked my ass) and today (a day where every rat with wings looks like a lovely dove). Here are the results.
This is December 1, 2005. Notice the sinking low point of my emotional state (the green line). Yeah. Pretty pathetic, I know.

This is December 14, 2005. Today. Notice how I am near the peak of the emotional rhythm (green line).

Now... there may not be anything to this Biorhythm stuff... But it sure is weird. And it made me calm down about feeling so crappy before. Eh... one more thing to point blame at. Oh well... I can handle that. Now... what in the world do I do when I see that emotional leave sneaking back down to it's low point?? These are cycles... they go up and down... I will have low days again. Is there any St Johns Wort strong enough to help curb the lowness that awaits. I hope so.

Oh... and if you are interested in learning more about these Biorhythms, go here: http://www.facade.com/biorhythm/. Please... let me know if you notice a strong correlation!

So. Today is wonderful, and in the end that's what matters most. Where do I get my brimming sunshine and happiness... well, I might can blame my slight weird depressed state on these biorythms, but my happiness is completely self evolved :) It is my true state of being, and everything else is just the rocky parts of life that must be walked over.

Oh... I just realized... I can blame those days that I just can't seem to spell any word right, on having a low intellectual day(blue line) :) Cool. And the days when I just can't seem to knock anyone down in derby low physical days (red line). Now... where is the I know I should be paying my bills but am compelled to buy a new pair of shoes rythm?